36 – Better and Worst

‘Where is he?’

Stef hugged her arms around herself and stared down at Ryan. The formerly sleeping agent looked up at her, blinked once, then sat up. ‘Stef-‘

‘Yeah, yeah, I know it’s the middle of the night, but-‘ She sat heavily on the couch beside him. ‘Where is he?’

The lights in the office came up. ‘I was going to tell you.’

‘What were you going to tell me?’

He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. ‘I’m sorry, and I swear to you I had nothing to do with it.’

‘This story doesn’t end with him in tiny chunks, does it?’

Ryan shook his head.

She knuckled her eyes, forcing tears away. ‘Just tell me already.’

‘He’s an employee of the Agency.’

Shift: Canada.

The world blurred and his office disappeared. A patch of forest that she was sure she’d seen on a postcard stared back at her. She sighed, stared into her HUD, processed a couple of commands, and shifted to the closest McDonald’s.

[Stef, Come home.]


She ordered a Happy Meal, and sat.

Ryan appeared across the booth, and looked at her, somewhere between sad!face and dad!face. ‘I’m sorry.’

She unwrapped the burger and stared down at it. ‘It’s not your fault. I know it’s not your fault. But. But. But. But but. Infinite but loop. Better than an infinite butt loop. Actually that’d be scary. Not as bad as an infinite boob loop though. How the fsck is he-?!’ Her shoulders slumped. ‘Okies. Tell me what happened.’

‘After you-’ He folded his hands on the table. ‘After you went after the phoenix, we had no idea what to do, what was going to happen, or- Or frankly, if it would do any good. We waited for hours just to see if you’d only averted the end of the world for a little while. When we realised we’d had a stay of execution, we began to get reinforcements back in to seal off the area, and begin the process of building up that Outpost, just to try and control the situation.’

‘Any idea on who’s going to run that yet?’

‘None.’ He smiled. ‘Would you like the position?’

She went limp and hid under the table.

‘Young lady, get off the floor.’

‘Only if you promise not to give me any more job offers!’

‘All right,’ he said.

She slowly crawled up from under the table, peeked her eyes over the edge and stared. ‘Are you sure?’

‘It was simply a courtesy,’ he said, ‘but if you were so inclined, we could have argued the case.’

She pulled herself back onto her seat. ‘A, I don’t even know how to be an agent. B, I had to look after Darren’s Outpost for like two days and I couldn’t handle that, and I nearly got eaten by bunyips. C, I like working for you. D, my boyfriend is your Aide, so that’s another reason not to leave. E, I have a boyfriend. F, seriously I have a boyfriend, how did that happen? G, no, really, seriously, how did that happen? H, I think I’m off topic now, but I want to keep listing stuff. I-’



‘Thinking about that bastard was the last thing on my mind. With everything, with how worried I was for you, for the world, I didn’t think of him once, and I don’t think anyone else did either. If this hadn’t happened, he would have likely died of starvation in the cells.’

‘That would have been ok. Not as good as little chunky bits, but ok.’

‘Clarke made a deal with him.’

She saw red and crushed the burger in her hands, sauce and meat juices dripping down her hands.

I’m going to- ‘-fucking kill him! I’ll fucking kill him! I will tear out his fucking eyes and I will-!’

Her mouth closed on its own.

[I know how you feel, but I can’t let you scream in public.]

[Can I scream at home?]


She stood, dropped the remains of the burger onto the tray and wiped her hands on her uniform, and walked from the restaurant. Once into the car park, the world blurred and the strong, safe scent of home flooded into her nostrils.

‘As you were saying?’ Ryan prompted.

‘I’m glitching, right? This is some sort of nightmare, right?’

‘I’m sorry.’

Her breath came out in ragged gasps, and the world seemed to spin a little. Not real. It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

‘I need to hit something,’ she said.

He put his hands on her shoulders and the world blurred again, this time, the gym came into view. He quietly guided her into the training simulator – the simulation was of a small paved area, surrounded on all sides by squat buildings.

Something heavy was pressed against her chest, and she looked down. A rocket launcher.


He stepped back. ‘Go ahead.’

She hefted it and rested it on her shoulder, aimed it at the closest building and fired. There was a satisfying loud boom and she reloaded it with a thought, and pulled the trigger again.

Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire. Reload. Fire.

She dropped the bazooka, and collapsed back against her angel.

‘Okies,’ she said, ‘tell me what happened.’

He lifted her and the world blurred again, back to his office. He put her on the couch, and handed her a bowl of ice cream larger than her head.

‘How do you want me to refer to him?’ he asked as she lowered her face towards the ice cream and began to lick the sauce from the whipped cream.

‘The bastard,’ she said, a thought adding precisely five hundred sprinkles to the sundae. ‘You sound classy when you say bastard.’

‘As you wish,’ he said. ‘Clarke made a deal with the bastard. Contrary to the little existing records that the Agency had on him, he’s been active with the fae for decades. He’s a lawyer, you knew that, of course, but he’s also a Kings-trained lawyer, which makes him far rarer, and is apparently one of some note. He’s named in a lot of lists of their top scholars.’


‘Fae law is convoluted at best, and contradictory at worst. Kings Law overrides all other authorities when it comes to the fae. Each court has their own rules of course, and Fairyland has its own set of laws again, but all yield to the Kings. There are few that understand the complexity of interaction between all of the systems, and apparently the bastard is one of them. That, unfortunately, makes him a valuable resource.’


‘For the record, I don’t care. He deserved to be punished for his treatment of you, let alone your murder. He came into my damn agency and killed one of my agents, he should have been executed, but the decision wasn’t mine. Clarke went behind my back and straight to Central.’

‘He doesn’t get punished at all? But he- He-‘

Sad!face morphed into mad!face.

She moaned, and looked to her sundae. ‘Whatever you’re going to say, just wait a damn minute, cause it isn’t good.’

She finished off all of the toppings, the sauce, leaving the ice-cream naked, then gulped down half a cup of coffee. She closed her eyes. ‘Ok, hit me.’

‘His punishment is a pay cut for six months.’

Words failed her.

She put the bowl of ice cream down and stared at him. ‘No.’

‘I’m sorry.’


‘I’m sorry.’

She felt her face twitching, and her hands dug at the leather of the couch. ‘There is no way that you can’t be shitting me right now. Tell me that- That- That-‘


‘Goat fucking shit sucking waste of carbon and oxygen is getting paid?! I- I- I-’ She slipped onto the floor and hugged her knees. ‘You want to know why I think I’m worthless? I think this situation pretty much speaks for itself. If I was really worth-‘

He came onto the floor beside her and held her. ‘It would have been the same outcome for any agent, I’ve been assured of that. It’s not a slight against you, if anything, it’s proof that you’re being treated like one of us.’

‘That…that really isn’t comforting, actually.’

‘And it shouldn’t be, but at least it’s equal.’

‘Ok, so what’s his deal?’

‘He’s exclusive to the Agency for the next two years, at something approaching emergency rates. He won’t be here, that’s our one win here, you won’t have to see him, he’ll be working out of Central-’ he paused. ‘Likely out of Central and the Academy.’

She bit her lower lip. ‘Well…I guess I’ll have to wait to go to classes.’

Tears came out in a flood.

James Mimosa, bastard.

James Mimosa, murderer.

A father who had never treated her as a child. A father – never, ever a dad – who hadn’t ever held her, comforted her, or been a figure of safety or care. He’d let a child die without noticing. He’d left her behind in the Gardens because a phone call had distracted him. He’d kept her at arm’s length, yelled at her, belittled her, made her feel stupid.

He’d always shown scorn towards magic, even the stupid princess-movie type of magic, treated it as frivolous and stupid. Not surprising, anything she liked was frivolous and stupid.

He’d walked into her home and murdered her. Come into the one place where she was safe and killed her dead. Dead. Dead. Dead.

Dead and the punishment was a new job.

She wept into her dad’s suit and felt grief empty her out.

James was Agency. He was Agency now. He was going to ruin it. He was going to ruin everything. He’d find a way to get rid of her, to take her away from Ryan, to get her thrown into a recycling chamber, to-

A soft handkerchief wiped at her face, clearing her face of snot and tears.

She’d found the Agency by mistake, and almost everything after that had been a mistake too – shooting the mirror, being useless enough to need so much help that via time and osmosis, she’d gotten a boy to fall in love with her, and saving the world. Ineptitude and dumb luck. Her ineptitude. Her dumb luck.

It was the one damn thing she’d done on her own. The one thing that had nothing to do with her parents, with her family, with the choices other people had thrust on her.

It had been hers.

It was hers and now he’d taken it.

He was right. He was smarter than she was. Whatever her IQ was, his was bigger. Whatever knowledge she had, his far exceeded it. He’d apparently made all the fancy lists that said he was an awesome fae lawyer, and her grades had never reflected how smart she was. It had been a choice of learn to manage insanity or concentrate on school – insanity was forever, school only lasted a few years, the choice had been easy.

He was smart and successful, and she was the shit stain on his shiny shoe.


The Agency’s got- ‘-the better Mimosa now, you don’t need me.’

Strong arms held her tighter than ever before. Held her together. Stopped her from falling apart.

‘He ruins everything,’ she whispered, her voice raw. ‘And now he’s ruined the only thing I’ve ever done good.’

‘He can’t take anything away from you.’

‘You wouldn’t know,’ she said. ‘He’s so good at taking things away from me. He took everything from me. I mean- Everything. I thought maybe that I started to- That I could start to- But nope, he’s back, and he’ll take it all away again. He’s really good at it. It took so little effort on his part to destroy me as a kid, and I’m sure he’s had practice being a bastard in the meantime. Why the fuck should I even bother when he’ll just ruin it for me again. Sorry,’ she said as she tried to pull away from the agent. ‘He’s won. You should probably start investing your time in Curt now, he’s actually got some potential.’

‘He can’t do anything to you, Stef. You’ve got people to protect you now, you’re not alone any more.’

‘He took away Hook, and he was imaginary! How hard can it be for him to take away people that are real?!’

‘We’re not going anywhere, newbie.’


She twisted away from Ryan and saw Curt, half-asleep and for once not that bright-and-shiny, his earpiece in his ear. ‘We are not going anywhere, newbie,’ he said again.

‘You were asleep,’ she said.

‘You needed me.’

‘I want to see him,’ she said. ‘Well, I don’t want to, but I need to. And- I-‘

‘That’s not a good idea.’

‘Did you say something about me being able to make my own decisions?’

‘You’ll get into trouble if you kill him.’

‘I won’t.’


‘You can hold my gun, Come on, maybe I could scare him to death? I mean, the last time he saw me, I was a corpse.’

Ryan looked uncomfortable.

She sighed and required a cookie. ‘He’s knows I’m not dead, doesn’t he?’


She turned to Curt. ‘Yeah?’

‘Newbie, do you remember that entire floor dedicated to presents for you? The entire fae world knows that you’re not dead. The entire fae world knows what you did.’ He paused for a moment. ‘And the entire fae world knows exactly what you are. Unfortunately, that includes him.’

‘My secret identity is out?’

Curt nodded.

She pouted and stared at the carpet. ‘Does that make me the worst superhero ever?’

  76 comments for “36 – Better and Worst

  1. the leaking pen
    October 7, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    He took away Hook, and he was imaginary! How hard can it be for him to take away people that are real?!’

    crap. he talked to the Lost and got Hook reassigned, didn’t he? I remember you saying there was more to meets the eye with her not having Hook anymore… The Bastard is right.

    • Stormy
      October 8, 2011 at 12:28 pm

      …he didn’t really do anything other than take her copy of Peter Pan away, but she remembers that as the last time she saw Hook before the events of MH.

      I can’t really say more on Hook without either being so vague as to be useless, or spoil the young!Stef book, so you’ll just have to wait for that and see the story of Stef, Hook and Peter.

  2. DPO
    October 7, 2011 at 3:03 pm

    You know, given that the entire fae world knows that she saved it, I daresay all she’d have to do is mention in public that her father – a King’s lawyer – put a bullet in her head with the intention of murdering her, and got off with no more punishment than a pay cut.

    At the very least whatever entity regulates fae lawyers would have to bar him from practice forever, and at best someone would murder him out of gratitude. Or tell the Solstice where he lives, or something.

    • Wraith
      October 7, 2011 at 7:10 pm

      Kings Law is on his side there, remember? As her father, he owns her, legally speaking.

      Of course, that doesn’t leave out the possibility of someone pulling a hit to try to curry favor with her, but legally speaking he’s free and clear.

      *puts a hole through a James-shaped target dummy*

      • DPO
        October 7, 2011 at 7:56 pm

        I’m thinking about the PR angle. Who would want a murderer of The Girl Who Saved The World, Literally, as their licensed, official representative? One mention of it in public and he’s ruined, even if nobody decides to shoot him out of any peculiar sense of honor repaying it as a favor owed. And I’m willing to bet there are at least some fae who take those sorts of debts very seriously.

        • Stormy
          October 8, 2011 at 12:21 pm

          …I could say something about this situation, but you’ll see in the next chapter.

      • the leaking pen
        October 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm

        hey stormy, i’d buy that! if you get someone to do a good sketch of james full face, label it, James Mimosa, and make it a target dummy!

        • Stormy
          October 8, 2011 at 8:16 am

          I think that would be a fairly unique merchandising run. ^_^

        • Anonymous
          October 9, 2011 at 7:28 am

          We could do a contest! Youtube videos of the most creative ways to destroy a James Mimosa doll!

          I wonder how much it costs to rent an industrual-sized woodchipper…

        • Stormy
          October 10, 2011 at 9:08 pm

          …that would be way too much fun. Maybe we could do it with little paper dolls, those would be easy and cheap…

          Woodchippers, on the other hand, are probably a few hundred dolalrs a day.

      • Stormy
        October 8, 2011 at 12:07 pm

        …because how to reveal that you’d avenged her without revealing that you’d committed a crime? Obviously she wouldn’t care, but there’s the matter of who would possibly overhear. -_-

        • DPO
          October 9, 2011 at 1:06 pm

          I’m thinking about the sorts of Fae stories of how they always honor their debts, even perceived debts that human society wouldn’t recognize or take seriously.

          Maybe there are still some such Fae around, in which case they might be looking for ways to help Stef out in a big way in order to honor the life debt that she created by saving them and everything they love from firey death. They wouldn’t have to announce that they’d quietly paid the debt, just knowing that they’d done so would satisfy their own personal sense of honor. And doubtlessly they’d think that Stef would figure out what happened, even if it was logistically unwise for them to tell her.

          Also, I totally think it could be awesome for Stef to go through some of her thank you notes, and tell Curt/Ryan about the more bizarre messages/gifts.

        • Stormy
          October 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm

          …but also I’m not going to say anything one way or the other before the next chapter is out. Cause it’s not over yet.

          Also, I totally think it could be awesome for Stef to go through some of her thank you notes, and tell Curt/Ryan about the more bizarre messages/gifts.

          That would be fun.


          And it seems like the perfect thing to crowdsource: http://requirecookie.com/content/girl-who-saved-world

    • Stormy
      October 8, 2011 at 12:19 pm

      Bob: Hi, this is Bob at the Solstice call centre, how can I help?
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: I’d like to report-
      Bob: Hang on, let me open up the reporting software. *clickyclicky* *memebase* Ok, sir, fae or agent?
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: Collaborator. Human.
      Bob: Oh, come on mate, you can report those on the automated line, we save the human touch for bigger problems. Now, if you’ve got an agent breathing down your neck, I’ll help you, otherwise, I’m transferring you back. Thank you for your service and all that, but I don’t want to hear you whinge about your neighbour because-
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: You’ve got an agent breathing down your neck right now.
      Bob: …huh?
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: How much clearer do I need to make myself?
      Bob: …sir?
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: My techs are tracing your call centre right now, your options are to-
      Not-Curt-not-bothering-to-disguise-his-voice: Sir, they found it. It-
      Bob: *quietly praying to god*
      Not-Curt-not-bothering-to-disguise-his-voice: Dear fucking gods. It’s two blocks away. We could piss on them from here!
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: Bob, did you hear that?
      Not-Ryan-disguising-his-voice: Are they paying you enough to die today, Bob?
      Bob: …so you’re wanting to report a collaborator, sir?

      • Anayilea
        October 8, 2011 at 2:22 pm


        • Stormy
          October 9, 2011 at 7:35 pm


      • DPO
        October 9, 2011 at 1:07 pm

        I laughed out loud. Hard. Seriously Stormy, your brain are awesome 🙂

        • Stormy
          October 9, 2011 at 7:35 pm


      • xXWinter_FrostXx
        October 10, 2011 at 11:42 am

        that SO made my day

        • Stormy
          October 10, 2011 at 9:01 pm

          You’re welcome. 😀

          …and I sort of laughed like a madman while writing it too. I rarely do that. 😛

  3. Anonymous
    October 7, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    And lots of fire.
    And brimstone.
    Bastard doesn’t cover it at all.

    • raven
      October 7, 2011 at 8:52 pm

      i second those thoughts just wish i could invent a whole new language so i dont run out of swear words

      • Stormy
        October 8, 2011 at 8:57 am

        …I also love how James is much more hated than Taylor ever was. ^_^

        • DPO
          October 8, 2011 at 11:39 am

          I think it’s because you spent an entire book making Taylor relatively sympathetic.

          He’s still committed horrifying crimes, which makes it all the more impressive that you managed to pull off making him sympathetic to the audience.

        • Stormy
          October 8, 2011 at 12:40 pm

          …it’s because all of his actions come out of an emotional place (whether massively repressed or raw). Stef posed a threat and he saw her as a recreation of a figure that he views with absolute abject terror, so reacted the way he did.

          He manages to temper it with duty-bound reasons and disguise it with anger, but everything he did in MS was because he was terrified of our little hacker girl, and of dying again.

          Death traumatised him, and he never really had anyone to help him get through it or to try and process his feelings – so not only does he have to handle dying and really being a different person to the guy who died, he has to do it alone, because even the guy who claims to be his best friend didn’t want to be around him.

          He’s never had a support network, and because he’s so cut off, of course he has antagonistic relationships with everyone around him.

          Mags, he recruited after every one of his other recruits died (mission gone horribly, horribly wrong), so he would have something to play with, someone to push and bend and try and make better, to try and make up for all those people he let die, but also so that he didn’t have to be alone, because as we’ve seen, being alone and surrounded by silence is a bit triggering for him.

          And one of the reasons he loves Mags is because she’s showing him that there are emotions that don’t hurt. <3

          And none of this excuses how brutal he was with Stef, or that he tried to murder her. However, at least, he's grown to the point where he wouldn't try to murder her again, and really, that's amazing growth for such a short time frame.

          ...wow, sorry for the ramble.

        • Anonymous
          October 9, 2011 at 12:36 am

          He’d still better find a way to make up for it, otherwise I’m still gonna feed him to my cat.

        • Stormy
          October 9, 2011 at 12:44 am

          …stay tuned.

        • Anonymous
          October 9, 2011 at 2:17 am

          Cause kitty is VERRY hungry; also about 70 lbs and half fae.

        • the leaking pen
          October 9, 2011 at 9:43 am

          so, a dragon cat, like in the book the eye in the stone?

        • Stormy
          October 10, 2011 at 9:02 pm

          …without it being a spoiler. So I won’t. Instead I’ll ask: why not just feed James to kitty?

        • Anonymous
          October 13, 2011 at 3:14 am

          James is just a human, not an agent, so I don’t think kitty’s attention is required for him.

    • Stormy
      October 8, 2011 at 8:25 am



      And lots of fire.

      And brimstone.

      Bastard doesn’t cover it at all.
      I know it doesn’t, but I figured it would be a little strange if Ryan of all people started calling him “the fuckstain” over and over again, or some, like, 16-word epithet that only begins to describe what a piece of shit James is.

      • Anonymous
        October 11, 2011 at 3:25 am

        I know it doesn’t, but I figured it would be a little strange if Ryan of all people started calling him “the fuckstain” over and over again, or some, like, 16-word epithet that only begins to describe what a piece of shit James is.
        Very true. But still. *Breaks marshmallow in half and makes a three layer cookie marshmallow sandwich, and noms it.*

        • Stormy
          October 11, 2011 at 7:40 am

          …if you bring food into a thread, you have to share!

  4. Fantasy_Lover
    October 7, 2011 at 11:12 pm

    and I am going to forget what I read for a good week

    • Stormy
      October 8, 2011 at 8:59 am


  5. Abeo
    October 8, 2011 at 3:37 am

    Two thoughts:

    1) The Bastard is actually probably hurting pretty bad right now. You can’t do much more to prove someone who thinks you are worthless wrong than saving the world. That’s got to hit him right in his world view.

    2) While her secret being out may cause mid-to-long term complications with her experiment, short-term she’s freaking untouchable.

    • Stormy
      October 8, 2011 at 8:19 am

      1) You underestimate him. I don’t want to spoil the next chapter, but he’s got an unfathomable ability to adapt. Despite the fact that it’s Stef, people now associate the name “Mimosa” with “saving the world” and that’s an incredible boost for him. He can ignore that it’s her cause it’s excellent for him. She’e still worthless to him.

      2) This is Stef, she’ll still find some way to die. -_-

      • Wraith
        October 8, 2011 at 9:35 am

        This is Stef, she’ll still find some way to die. -_-
        I loled heartily at this. I love how you show such confidence in your main character. 😛

        • Stormy
          October 8, 2011 at 12:22 pm

          …there are certain things I have absolute confidence in. 😀

        • the leaking pen
          October 9, 2011 at 12:01 am

          such as her ability to dirty her shoes, and ability to find a way to die even though shes essentially immortal now.

        • Wraith
          October 9, 2011 at 5:36 am

          That sounds about right.

        • Stormy
          October 10, 2011 at 9:04 pm

          …I considered making a deal out of her thing with the shoes. That like, James had sort of brokered this faerie bargain wherein she’s utterly unable to keep her shoes clean, whereas his always stay pristine.

          But then I figured it was selling her short, and that being messy is just part of who she is, so the magic shoe-dirtying power is just Stef being Stef.

  6. chaotic.calm
    October 10, 2011 at 6:44 am

    I hate that bastard! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!!!

    There, I feel a little better now. Just needed to get that out. ^_^

    • Stormy
      October 10, 2011 at 9:09 pm

      …a discussion of an infinite cookie loop the other day, now I’m starting to think an infinite James-hate loop would make things easier for everyone. 😛

  7. chaotic.calm
    October 10, 2011 at 7:10 am

    I kinda feel like my above comment is a little extreme…but the hints Stormy left about his increasing bastard-y-ness. It’s like pre-emptive rage.

    • Wraith
      October 10, 2011 at 10:11 am

      I’d say it’s not extreme at all. My initial reaction when he shot Stef was extreme. But given what hints we’ve gotten about where this is going, you’re going to need all the rage you can generate (and not all of it will be directed at James.)
      <_< *wanders off*

      • Stormy
        October 10, 2011 at 10:00 pm

        I’d say it’s not extreme at all. My initial reaction when he shot Stef was extreme. But given what hints we’ve gotten about where this is going, you’re going to need all the rage you can generate (and not all of it will be directed at James.)
        There will be lots of flexing and strengthening of the rage muscles.

    • Stormy
      October 10, 2011 at 9:10 pm

      …flinched at a couple of the lines James has coming up. -_-

      ETA: I should probably make a bit of a deal about this. I did all of the Taylor torturing Stef without flinching, all of Curt torturing her without blinking. James dialogue, on the other hand, makes me cringe.

      I mean, half the time as I’m writing, I’m sitting there going “dude, the fuck, did you actually just say that? *crigne*”.

  8. xXWinter_FrostXx
    October 10, 2011 at 11:46 am

    must…kill James Mimosa….fire death hate death die bastard motherf*cking bastard…die

    okay….*breathes deeply*…now that i had my Curt moment over with

    >_> i hate James Mimosa…i think Wraith should have a field day with his soul
    that would make me happy *noms cookie to calm self*

    • Wraith
      October 10, 2011 at 12:52 pm

      . . .

      I’m really not sure whether to be honored or disturbed by that . . .

      And I can’t help but be intrigued at the thought of being able to play with his soul . . .


      • Stormy
        October 10, 2011 at 9:20 pm

        Well, I think it means you’ve unceremoniously been dubbed Stef’s official protector. Or something. 😀

        And what would you do to his soul?

        • Wraith
          October 10, 2011 at 11:16 pm

          I’m a scholar, not a warrior! I’ve even got the hat to prove it!

          *puts on his MV-scholar hat*

          (I have been waiting for so long for an excuse to use that line :P)

          Of course, everyone who knows what my avatar is from would be able to argue the warrior point, but until I get my Stormcrow, I’m sticking to what I said.

        • xXWinter_FrostXx
          October 10, 2011 at 11:33 pm

          eve scholars can be kick ass…they have the knowledge of how to kill someone more then one way…including the ways to kill form different countries and such…being a scholar makes you like a brain assassin….and playing with could could be fun O.o

        • Wraith
          October 10, 2011 at 11:45 pm

          I’ve been known to freak people out when I start talking about how ridiculous weapons bans can be (particular zero tolerance policies in the US public school system, but that’s a rant for a different day.)

          Consider myself for a moment. I am an average person with no particular athletic skills or strength, and no official training in any martial arts/combat skills. At any given time, I can usually come up with at least 5 ways to maim/kill someone using just what I have in my pockets/hands at the time. Most of them utilize only the basic knowledge of human biology I picked up in High School.

          Pen/pencil to the carotid artery.
          Same to the eye.
          Same jammed up the nose.
          Blunt force trauma to the base of the skull. (Using either a convenient heavy object, or hell, even just your bare hands can get up enough force for that to be major trauma.)
          Keys as a make-shift brass knuckles.
          (only because of yesterday) Use someone’s tie to choke them out.

          I could go on, but I’d rather not get into the more mundane ways of causing bodily harm, and I think I’ve proven my point.

        • Stormy
          October 11, 2011 at 7:08 am

          Maybe it’s paranoid, but I always sort of have in mind what I can use to hurt someone. It’s also good for story ideas, cause you never know what a situation will bring.

          (I had a deleted scene once, where Stef had to knock someone out with a keyboard :P).

        • Wraith
          October 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm

          Hell, as I remember, she actually contemplated hitting one of the Solstice over the head with a keyboard back at the mansion in MF.

        • Stormy
          October 13, 2011 at 2:50 am

          …probably it. -_-

          *sticks another cookie in your scholar-hat*

        • the leaking pen
          October 12, 2011 at 3:30 pm

          I’m the same, but I was trained as a young boy that way by my father, always know your exits, including identifying walls that are just drywall, and thus can be busted through quickly and easily (you’d be suprised how easy it is to go through a LOT of the walls out there. ) and know how to use ANYTHING in your hands as a weapon, even if just as a distraction. I once creeped out a coworker when discussing that, they didn’t believe me, i pointed around the room without looking at a variety of objects, including things in people’s drawers, naming them, and stating how I could kill a person with them. A lot of people were listening in, and like, HEY! How did you know I have that in my drawer. I had to admit, I had seen them take said objects in or out, and had them listed not just as potential weapons for ME to use, but things THEY might be armed with, should they ever go bugfuck.

          Also, I have a friend that uses an old (i mean 80’s) ibm keyboard, steel frame, in part because they just DON’T break, but in part because it makes a great club.

        • Stormy
          October 13, 2011 at 2:55 am

          …various zombie apocalypse plans should it strike when we’re in the city.

          Discussing it recently though made me realise that I could probably do some better planning at home, get some supplies, etc (just general stuff like a wind-up torch/radio whatnot), which seems like paranoia, but then again, I can just point out the January flood as a reason to be prepared. -_-

        • Stormy
          October 11, 2011 at 7:25 am

          Jonesy is a scholar, do you doubt he can hurt people?

          *hides cookies in your hat*

        • Wraith
          October 11, 2011 at 4:55 pm

          After #35, (and some other things) no, I have no illusions whatsoever about Jonesy being as cute and harmless as everyone thinks he is. 😉

          *pulls a cookie out of his hat and noms on it, replacing the hat on his head*

      • xXWinter_FrostXx
        October 10, 2011 at 11:31 pm

        cookies! *does a happy dance as eats cookies*

    • Stormy
      October 10, 2011 at 9:22 pm

      You could always just go with the line from Demolition Man. MURDER DEATH KILL.



      • xXWinter_FrostXx
        October 10, 2011 at 11:33 pm

        works too…

      • Anonymous
        October 11, 2011 at 3:36 am

        are so cool!

  9. meeks
    October 12, 2011 at 5:51 am

    I don’t suppose her crown can be traded for James in tiny chunks?

    • Wraith
      October 12, 2011 at 6:08 am

      James isn’t being held by Fairyland, now is he?

      Stef would have to– *Is Tackled by Stormy before he can finish the spoiler*

    • DPO
      October 13, 2011 at 1:35 am

      What a dreadful use of it! There are easier ways of getting revenge without using her uber favor. I think she should use it for replacement mirror, or some sort of other nightmare cure for the things that are hurting her every night.

      • Stormy
        October 13, 2011 at 2:58 am

        …the fairies would be willing to part with what bits of mirror they do have (probably several of their contingency plans rest on them), but hopefully some people will come out of the woodworks and donate bits for the phoenix to nom on, cause it’s gonna get hungry soon…

    • Stormy
      October 13, 2011 at 2:51 am

      …probably get a dummy that she could mutilate over and over, that spews out chunks of dna-identical meat. But then again, she could do kill him over and over again in the Agency holodeck.

  10. Anonymous
    October 12, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    but also the darker side. What if James tries to claim some of her gifts for himself as her owner? Even her boon from the fae court. Or broker an acceptance to one of those proposals? Nasty. On the other hand, if he CAN’T take her boon, can it be to be free of him? Something to think about.

    • Stormy
      October 13, 2011 at 2:48 am

      …no comment, you’ll have to wait for the next chapter. If I ever finish it.

      (Seriously, it’s the second longest chapter ever. O_0, I don’t think it’ll hit longest chapter ever, but it’s still an impressive word count 😀 ).

    • meeks
      October 13, 2011 at 3:25 am

      Oh! Maybe she can use it to be officially and retroactively adopted by Ryan so James is not and was never legally her owner.

  11. Anonymous
    October 12, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    I was totally off? Was looking forward to some yummy Stormy tackles. 🙂

    • Stormy
      October 13, 2011 at 2:56 am


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